It’s scary to tell someone you care. It’s horrendously scarier to not.
1. Everyone suffers in strikingly similar ways, even though it doesn’t seem like it. It can be easy to judge bad moods and harsh attitudes (or to feel alone when you’re down and others seem to have it easy), but most of us experience very similar problems at some point or another (heartbreak, car troubles, frustrating jobs… You feel me yet?).
2. Relationships and interactions are so karmic, it’s humorous once you notice. Most of us, including myself at times, don’t know that we’re sending out bad energy, and then it’s lost on us when people are cruel back. Likewise, it’s funny how being in a good mood makes it seem like everyone around is kinder. Usually, you get what you put in.
3. Sleep deprivation, a mild dependence on espresso, and a chaotic schedule don’t have to be hell if you embrace them. At least you’re living. The alternative is getting too much sleep, being boring, and being, well, bored. Just make sure you know what hour is appropriate for doing work and what hour is deemed best for drinking — and try to get, you know, some sleep.
4. And on the other hand, don’t fall victim to the vacuum of chaos. It is possible to be the quiet eye of the crazy storm — it may just take some practice (and meditation or something. You’ll figure it out).
5. Everything is connected to everything else. This is true for just about everything.
6. It’s scary to tell someone you care. It’s scarier to not.
7. Expectations dampen experiences. Just live and don’t have an agenda or an image of what should be.
8. Fears don’t dissipate easily, but tell them to and they’ll listen. Face what seems scary, and afterwards you’ll almost always look back and go, “What the hell? That totally wasn’t scary.” You’ll feel like you experienced a new part of the world.
9. Sometimes growing as an individual makes it clear who’s not.Personal growth can make it obvious who is comparatively lagging, and you realize you’ll never have the same relationship with those people again — you’re moving one way and they’re stagnant.
10. No one should be intimidating. No one should be put on a pedestal. We’re all living on this earth together, all grew from the same stage of infancy to childhood to adulthood, and despite what royalty or fame or politics would teach, no one is inherently higher than anyone else. Fundamentally, we’re all living on the same planet and are capable of making an impact in some capacity. When you feel inferior to anyone, you shut down your capabilities.
11. It doesn’t really matter what you’re doing — it’s why and how you’re doing it.
12. When living is most exhausting, you’re almost surely going against the natural flow. There may be another choice that’s best, not so challenging — and this isn’t to say the easiest path is the best, because that certainly isn’t true, but there’s a way that naturally just kind of works. Things just fall into place. Go that way.
13. We’re most judgmental of others when we’re most judgmental of ourselves. Oops, sorry for being a Nob I was just self-conscious, really.
14. Life is more rewarding when it’s really felt — when you romanticize it a little and are awe-struck by daily surprises and allow yourself to be vulnerable to pain. We’re all able to feel the same emotions. It only comes down to how much we scale down the dials.
15. You cultivate more of your character by losing yourself sometimes. You’ll figure yourself out again and gain more of yourself, too.
16. Confidence doesn’t = lighter cares; lighter cares = confidence. If your fuel is your confidence, you might just end up with a needy ego, but if you relax your mind and your concerns, life just seems easier and confidence rises. Boom.
17. You pretty much get what you ask for from the universe. The problem is we often don’t know what to ask for and what we’re actually asking for.
I did really fucking love her, you know? I’m just a cunt.
1. You can learn how to say no to people. It’s actually quite easy, isn’t it? You’ll probably be surprised it took you this long to figure out but don’t beat yourself up about it. The important thing is that you got to the point where it finally resonated with you. You can start the year off as a doormat, as a “yes” man, and then slowly start to feel your resolve build. When I was younger, I didn’t know how to say to no to anyone ever and as a result, I spent my formative years getting taken advantage of by just about everyone. Then, seemingly overnight, I hit my limit and decided that I’m going to put myself first and cut the fat. My social life is now decidedly more anorexic than it used to be but I don’t mind. Now that I’ve learned how to create boundaries with people, everyone who’s still in my life is meant to be.
2. You can take more risks. Risks are always nice. It’s no fun being stuck in your ways, especially when you’re in your twenties, and still have a lot of insane living left to do. Risks = potentially amazing things happening in your life. No risks = no joys, lots of stagnant evenings in bed watching youtube parodys. Being high-maintenance doesn’t get you anywhere besides living a life that’s permanently constipated.
3. Stop being such a curmudgeon. There are cynical assholes born every second so why do you feel the need to add to it? Be kinder to people, don’t burn bridges, be more understanding. Is it just me or were people really behaving like dicks in 2012? I was so tired of the constant insults and outrage and annoyance. Take a chill pill, you freaks. You all have your iPads and your HBO subscriptions and dinner parties. Life cannot be the worst thing ever and if its, let me play a song for you on the world’s smallest violin.
4. Read more. Reading is like brain food and the more you do it, the more enlightened you will become. And no, reading Keep Calm And Carry On doesn’t count. Go read something less Soccer Mum Having Deep Thoughts At Her Book Club. (I know I said stop being a curmudgeon but book snobbery is a *thing* and always will be.)
5. Cut out the exes who make your bones ache and your heart hurt. Protect yourself against those who don’t value you as much as they should. Getting treated like shit loses its luster after awhile. People don’t tell you the truth, which is that it can actually feel good for an allotted amount of time, it can feel good to see how low you’ll go to feel recognized by someone, but then it just starts to reveal itself for what it is: you not respecting yourself enough to not get walked on all over.
6. Vow to be honest, vow to be ridiculous, vow to make out with as many people in dark bars as you want, don’t worry about what other people think of you because no one’s worth the decision to live your life on a low volume, stop freaking out about getting a full eight hours of sleep in fact never turn down a night of potential fun for sleep because can sleep give you a blowjob or make you laugh?, paint the picture of what you want your life to look like and do it DO IT DO IT. 2013 IS THE YEAR OF DOING. START NOW. RESOLVE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS.
In 2013, text your mother at least every other day. She is your mother who loves and worries about your well being. So just send her a text every so often. Hey Mum! I am alive and I want you to know it! And if she responds with some overly long description of the dinner she’s making for your father, or what she did in the garden over the weekend, you can just be like Sounds great! Love you!. It’s that easy.